The Rejects
by XFeelXTheXLoveX
Summary: They say 11 out of 100,000 teenagers commit suicide for different reasons or the same. So what will happen when 7 people out of 11 are thrown together in the attempt to make each other happy again? Will some of that 7 become part of that 11? / / WARNING: Might be triggering in later chapters.
1. The Group

**Yes, I know "I thought you weren't going to post this story until My English Love Affair was done" well, I got impatient okay. I'm really excited for this story. THAT & someone ripped off My English Love Affair. They basically took Rydel & Connor's situation in the story but made it with two different people and it pissed me off. So, don't expect an update from that story for a while. I'm sick of people copying ideas off my stories & claiming they came up with it all by themself & then getting praised for it. Like no, find your own fucking originality & stop copying off mine. Fair enough if you try & make it like your own,but when it's practically the same but with two different people... NO. STOP. & I will be copying & pasting this into the next update for MELA for the people who read that story. Like, if you wanna make a story that's inspired by mine or like it, let me know & I'll help you out into making it your own or a little bit different so it's not exactly the same. I won't bite. Jesus christ. **

**Not how I wanted to start off the new story but oh well \o/**

**I hope you guys enjoy it & I will be moving this out of the Austin & Ally category later btw, so if you're confused... that's why.**

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own R5, The Vamps or 5 Seconds Of Summer, all rights go to Hollywood, MercuryVirgin EMI & Capitol Records!**

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><p><strong>Title: <strong>The Rejects

**Summery: **They say 11 out of 100,000 teenagers commit suicide for different reasons or the same. So what will happen when 7 people out of 11 are thrown together in the attempt to make each other happy again? Will some of that 7 become part of that 11? / WARNING: Might be triggering in later chapters.

**Genre: **Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Tragedy, Angst, Romance, Humour, Friendship, Family

**Starring: **Ross Lynch, Ellington Ratliff, Luke Hemmings, Ashton Irwin, Bradley Simpson, Riker Lynch, Alexa Dowd, Rydel Lynch, Michael Clifford, Jack Hemmings, Rocky Lynch, Savannah Hudson & Calum Hood

**Couples: **Rosslington, Lashton/Cashton, Rocklexa

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><p><strong>*note: if you're wondering why I'm using Alexa &amp; Savannah, it's because I'm tired of using Laura &amp; Maia as side characters. That, and it's different.<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<br>**_The Group_**  
><strong>

Awkward?

No, that wasn't the word.

Though, there are a whole other bunch of synonyms to describe the word awkward, and a whole other bunch of sentences that could probably describe this whole atmosphere perfectly. There were seven chairs, eight if you counted Riker's, in a circle and only five of them were full. Full of five people who did not know what to say to each other, and Riker was doing his best to try and get them all to say something but if he was honest some of them looked like they didn't even want to be here, which had two different meanings, some looked like they wanted to kill someone – aka Ashton – and the other looked bored out of his mind.

There was only one girl in the circle at the moment, Savannah, so she's probably feeling that she doesn't want to be here because she's the only girl. Which is fair.

But all this awkward silence was making it depressing.

That was it. That was the word. A depressing silence.

Which is ironic because this is a support group Riker runs for depressed teenagers with all sorts of different problems. Yet, here they all are probably feeling even more depressed and have the urge to slit their wrists wide open even more. Which is not the aim Riker is looking for. The aim he's looking for, is that by the end of the next 6 months they'll all be okay again with no worries and they'll all be better, and feeling it.

Besides, maybe it might work with these set of teens (well, Ashton's only just turned 20 and Ellington is 20). They're all newish, apart from Savannah who's been here for almost 5 months now and she doesn't seem to be getting anywhere near better. Ellington joined about a month ago, Ashton joined 2 weeks ago and Brad started last week. But today they had two new people coming which were two more boys called Ross and Luke. Ross was already here and sat by Ellington, but Luke wasn't – which made Riker begin to think about if he was even coming at all.

He did decide he wanted to wait a little bit longer for Luke, but it had been 15 minutes so if he was going to show up, he would have shown up by now. After all, he does know Luke and Ross were forced to come here by people. So were the others in some way, but they were literally forced it even said on a letter he got sent by some girl called Rydel and two guys called Michael and Jack. He doesn't know who made who go.

There was another seat spare in the circle for someone else, but she wasn't here and wouldn't be until next week. Why? Because she attempted to kill herself the day after Ashton came and failed. Not that he's saying Ashton made her want to kill herself, but that's how he keeps track of how long ago it was.

"You know what," Riker said, standing up from his chair and clapping his hands together to get the attention of the ones who looked zoned out "we'll just start now, without Luke and see how it goes before he does get he—"

Riker heard the door open up from the corner of the room before he finished his sentence, and everyone's attention turned to it.

Luke did his best to try and open the door without it making a huge crash sound. He failed. Miserably. Because after he shut the door he turned around and found everyone looking at him from the circle. "Okay, how late am I?" Luke asked.

"About 15 minutes." Ellington answered from where he sat.

Luke nodded "Right, okay, sorry. Had some things to deal with. Good thing it's not school so I can't get held back. No? Okay. I'll shut up now and sit." Luke said, going over to where some boy with brown curly hair was to sit.

"No, no," Riker said, stopping Luke as he was pretty much sat on the chair "don't sit there. That's someone else's seat. Sit next to Ashton."

"Yeah, because I know who Ashton is." Luke said, referring to how he was new and didn't know who the heck any of these people were. Except for Brad and Ross, because he's pretty sure they go to his school. Not that he would know because he barely attends any more due to certain things that have occurred, but he won't go into detail about that just yet.

Ashton rolled his eyes "Which is the only other empty chair in the room?" he asked harshly.

Luke looked over to him and saw the chair. Yeah, now he felt like an idiot. But hey, someone has to lighten the mood in this depressing support group right? Not that it'll do him any good. He may look happy and seem happy right now but all he wants to do is go home or find somewhere quiet and slit his throat so he's gone forever. And he's pretty sure everyone else in the room feels the same way too.

He walked over to where this Ashton sat and sat down reluctantly next to him. He noticed how all the chairs were spread out pretty far from each other, making them about 1 or 2 metres away from each other. But for some reason his and Ashton's was like a ruler away from each other. Luke was about to move his chair a little bit away from Ashton, because to be quite honest he felt a little intimidated by him, but then Riker started talking. At least that's what he thinks his name his, he doesn't know he wasn't really paying attention when Jack and Michael were telling him about this place.

"Right, okay, as I was going to say," Riker said, trailing off a little "I know two of you are new here and some of you are fairly new and some of you have been here for a while. But welcome. This is as about as lively as it's going to get, unless you get to know each other then that way it becomes more fun and I hate to make it sound like a frickin' play school for children but unfortunately it's true. But once you get to know each other a little bit more we'll take it from there," he looked around the group, seeing blank facial expressions, depressed ones or some looking down because they didn't want to look up at everyone (aka Ross). "So let's get started then. Who would like to go first?"

Luke slowly raised his hand. "Ah, okay. Wasn't expecting that. But sure, go ahead." Riker said.

Luke put his hand back down "N-no, I didn't want to go first... but er... you said someone else was supposed to be here so why are we starting without them?" Luke asked, referring to the empty seat next to Brad.

"That's Alexa's seat. She tried to kill herself after Ashton came," Ellington said, answering on behalf of Riker "she comes back next week apparently."

"Fair enough."

Riker folded his arms and turned to Ellington. He sighed "Alright loud mouth, how about we go around the circle and you go first?" Riker asked, giving him a small sarcastic smile.

Ellington threw Riker a small glare and turned to everyone as he stood up "Well then, hi. I'm Ellington Ratliff for those who didn't know, I.E the blonde sat next to me, was it Ross? And the guy with the quiff the size of the World Trade centre," Ellington said, making Riker wish he never even put him up to introducing himself first "so that's only, like... two people who didn't know me who I could have introduced myself to in my own time without having to re-introduce myself to Ashton, Brad and Savannah," he sighed "anyway, yeah. My names Ellington Ratliff. Call me Ellington, or Ell, or Ratliff. Which ever you like better, I don't care. Heck, even call me Lee it's my middle name. Actually, don't call me Lee I hate being called by my middle name. And my middle name in general. Whatever. But, yeah. Why am I here?" he shrugged "I don't like being at home because it depresses me. You try living with two parents who constantly fight and ignore you like it's your fault because of your choices which aren't really big and shouldn't affect them that much. It's kinda depressing," he looked around the circle, seeing Ashton's usual eye brows raised and 'oh wow who gives a fuck' kind of look. "So yeah, that's all." Ellington sat back down, he turned to Ross "Your turn blondie."

Ross felt uneasy by the way Ellington was looking at him and with everyone else looking at him. He glanced up a little, but didn't bother to stand up like Ellington did. "Er... my names Ross."

"I think I can hear the mouse that lives under the floor boards better than you, speak up." Ellington said, only to receive a funny look off everyone else but Savannah.

Ross took a deep breath "I said my names Ross. Is that better for you?" Ross asked, snapping. He felt bad about it afterwards, feeling nervous as to what Ellington's reaction was going to be towards him. It was bad enough he seemed like a real cocky and sarcastic person, so he dreads to think what he would be like when someone acts the same back or is horrible to him.

"Leave him alone," Riker said, stopping Ellington as he went to go say something else to him "why are you here, Ross?" Riker asked, being more caring than Ellington was. He could tell he was nervous and scared, and it wasn't really hard to figure out why he was here.

"My sister made me come here." Ross mumbled, not wanting to speak any louder. He even started playing with his hands out of nerves.

Everyone else in the room was only just able to make out what he said. They all wished he would speak louder, but didn't bother to say anything. They'd only contribute more to his obvious depression and anxiety issue. "Yeah, that's part of the reason why you're here. What's the actual reason?" Ellington asked.

Brad rolled his eyes "Alright, back off. Leave him alone. It's obvious why he's here. Lets just move on." he said, having enough of Ellington and he'd only been here a week.

Ellington held up his hands in defence and slouched in his chair. Ross gave a small nervous smile to Brad as if to say 'thank you' and quickly looked away again. Riker sighed "Alright, Brad. Your turn." Riker said, running his hand through his hair as he felt stressed already.

"What's the point? You've already introduced me, it's Ashton's turn." Brad said, not really wanting to introduce himself after what just happened with Ross and Ellington. He didn't fancy being commented on as he spoke.

Riker went to go say something but was cut off by Ashton's voice. "Why thanks Brad," Ashton said with a sarcastic smile "now that I've been introduced maybe now Savannah can introduce herself and the other newbie can introduce himself. Oh, wait! Done. No need any more."

Riker groaned, flinging his head back a bit. Ellington, Brad and Ashton were making life more difficult for him. Especially when he's got a newbie who's nervous about everything around him, another newbie and a girl who won't talk because she's too depressed. Having loud mouths around like Ellington, Brad and Ash were not a good match for the other three. And if Alexa was here she would have sorted them all out by now. But no.

He rubbed his eyes "Alright, how do you all wanna do this? Do you just wanna get to know each other in pairs and make life a little more easier for me and yourself or do you wanna do it as a six?" Riker asked. Everyone silenced, looking around awkwardly. "You know what, I'll make life easier. If you're Ellington, Brad and Ashton talk to the person on your right." he turned back round and sat back in his chair.

Brad turned his head and saw the empty chair sat next to him, and passed that empty chair was Ashton. But to Ashton's right was Luke. Which meant Brad was on his own. That wasn't much of a surprise to him though. He's always alone. Even when it comes to friends, family and school. He's always been the outcast. He sighed and shut his eyes.

There goes his depression kicking in for the 100th time this week and it's only Wednesday.

Ellington dragged his chair and got closer to Ross as their chairs were about a metre apart, and he made Ross nervous by the way he had gotten closer. Ellington sat comfortably on the chair and smiled at him nicely as you could hear very small and quiet talking from Luke and Ashton, and also Savannah who had moved over to Brad "So, what's a pretty face like yours really doing here?" Ellington asked.

"Ellington." Riker said, warningly.

"What?!" Ellington asked, his voice raising in pitch "I'm being nice!" he said, making Riker roll his eyes. Ellington faced Ross again and smiled "I repeat the question. What's a pretty face like yours doing here?" he asked "by the looks of you, you look like you should be elsewhere getting laid by some hot girl. Or guy. I don't know what you're into."

Riker shut his eyes and shook his head slowly at Ellington. Why did he suggest for poor Ross to sit next to him when he first arrived?

Ross sighed shutting his head, keeping his eyes on the floor as he felt his heart beginning to beat even more from nerves "Thanks, but I'm not gay."

"That's cool, neither am I." Ellington said with a small shrug.

Ross stared at him confused "But... you just flirted with me."

"Clearly you've never heard of bisexuals."

Riker put his head into his hands and shook his head, deciding to lose focus in Ross and Ellington's conversation as he couldn't bare to listen to Ross getting flirted with and not being able to do anything about it. So he decided to listen in on Luke and Ashton's conversation, Savannah and Brad already knew each other and they were nice so he didn't have to make sure if Savannah was going to be hopelessly flirted with or if Brad was going to get killed by Savannah.

Luke felt a little bit awkward being thrown into a conversation with someone who he had never met or spoken to in his entire life, and Ashton felt the same. Ashton had only been here for two weeks and he didn't speak to anybody really, he didn't connect with anybody. He had the strangest feeling he wouldn't with Luke either. But hey, the quicker he gets this over and done with the quicker he gets to go home, be depressed and all the other things he has been doing ever since he became like this. "So," Ashton said, turning his head to Luke "what's your name?" he asked.

"Luke. What's yours?" He asked stupidly, even though he already knew it. But hey, anything to make conversation right?

"Ashton," He replied nearly straight away "so tell me. Were you forced to come here by someone or did you come of your own free will?" he asked.

Luke shrugged "I was forced to come by my friend Michael and my older brother Jack. They felt I needed too before they came home one day and found me hanging from the ceiling. Which I did try to do one time, but you know, I kinda fell over and woke everyone up before I even got a chance to put the noose around my neck."

Ashton nodded "Fair enough. Don't fall over when trying to hang yourself. I'll remember that the next time I want to kill myself which will probably be somewhere between the next..." he looked to the ceiling for a moment thoughtfully "hour."

"Will you actually kill yourself though?"

"I don't think so... I'm scared too. You know, in case I fail and it hurts like a bitch."

"Who says you'll fail?" Luke asked, Ashton turned to him and gave him a funny look. Luke's eyes widened when he realised how that sounded "Oh no, no! That wasn't meant to sound encouraging! Oh no, no! Please don't! If anything if you did try to kill yourself, I'd want you to fail so you'd still be alive, I mean who wants someone to kill them self for? You know what, I'm just gonna shut up." Luke said, turning away from Ashton and putting his head into his hands in embarrassment.

Ashton sighed heavily and shook his head, being able to tell already that Luke wasn't very good with words. After a few seconds, Luke lifted up his head "Hey, I'm Luke. I'm an idiot sometimes when I speak so just ignore me, it's nice to meet you. I'm taking it your names Ashton. You look like an Ashton." Luke said, restarting the whole introductory thing all over again.

Ashton laughed softly "Hi. I'm taking it you're here because your brother and friend forced you too?" Ashton asked, Luke nodded "may I ask what caused you to be depressed to have made them make you come here?"

Luke frowned and shook his head "No. I don't feel comfortable sharing that with you. Not yet anyway."

Ashton nodded "Fair enough. It's nice that you have two people in your life that care about you deeply though, that helps a heck of a lot with people like you and me."

Luke cocked his head a little bit "Why? Don't you have anybody that loves you in your life that cares? Like, friends... family. Or a girlfriend maybe." he said, again realising how insensitive that sounded.

Even when he tried to reintroduce himself, he sounded like a prick. Ashton glared at Luke slightly "Yeah, actually I do," Ashton said, suddenly getting harsher after trying to be nice. But after being insulted twice, basically, it kinda takes the kindness away from you. "I had a boyfriend called Calum. But he died like 2 months ago though in a car accident, so he's really letting me down lately."

Luke nodded, getting the answer to his first idiotic question and the follow up question which would have been 'what made you depressed?'. He grabbed the bottom of his chair and moved away from Ashton, feeling the tension coming off him after pissing him off.

Already, Riker could sense the next 6 months were going to be a blast.

Not.

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><p><strong>Hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter &amp; sorry to start this story off with a pissed authors note :) I'll try make the future ones happier ;)<strong>

**Please review & let me know what you think :D **


	2. Life Problems

**Sorry for the wait on the update. Just, personal things going on, school, etc. It's really making me lose energy to write lately to the point where I want to quite. But I won't. The updates will just come slower. I guess it's better than not updating at all, right?**

**I know some of you find this story funny bc of what happened with the last chapter, but honestly it's not meant to be a funny story. It's supposed to be dealing with serious issues that teenagers actually go through including myself. Sure, I'll add the funny bit here and there bc I like a bit of humour to my stories as well as keeping them dark, dramatic & tragic (lol that rhymed). So yeah. Thought I'd let you know.**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Guest Account Replies:<strong>

**Guest: **I'd tell you the name of the story, but you're not logged into your account haha. & I don't fancy having to post it on here in case they see even though they already know bc I called them out haha.

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own R5, The Vamps or 5 Seconds Of Summer, all rights go to Hollywood, MercuryVirgin EMI & Capitol Records!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<br>**_Life Problems_**  
><strong>

When the support group had finally finished, everyone was more than relieved.

Even Riker himself was and he use to enjoy doing this more than anything. But, you know... After running a support group for more than three years and having teenagers who stay for only six months, who you get close too, and in the end they either leave because they got better (which rarely seems to happen here), left because they were moving away from LA or they killed themselves because no matter what Riker did it just wouldn't help them. And after a while of doing and putting up with that, it gets boring and depressing after a while.

But this group of people, Ross, Brad, Ellington, Ashton, Luke, Savannah and Alexa, seem like fixable people.

He knows that he's said that about previous people who have gone and killed themselves, but all you have to do is look at their situation and think of simple ways to fix it.

Lets start with Ellington.

He's got problems at home with his parents because they keep on fighting and he gets ignored by them for the majority of the time like it's his fault. He is old enough to move out and get his own place, but he's too scared to incase his parents forget about him completely. But he doesn't have many friends, and even the friends he does have they'll always pick someone else over him. He's basically like the rebound if any of his friends fall out with one another. And all he has to do is find the right friends and right people that will hopefully make him happy and motivate him to do stuff without being scared of his parents reactions – or he could just knock his parents into some sense, it would be far more easier.

Riker would describe other people's situations, but he can only describe Ellington and Ashton's and find solutions to fixing them. As for Brad, Ross and Luke, he has yet to find solutions for them as well as find out more about what's wrong with them. It's going to be more difficult with Luke because when he got sent the paper from whoever it was that sent it for Luke, they didn't put down his reasons for being depressed they said just to go easy on him and he might open up. _Might_.

Because apparently it took him a very long time to open up to his friend Michael.

Ashton's situation is probably the easiest to fix out of everyone. It has to be.

2 months ago someone he loved very, very, very much died in a car crash, and Ashton blames himself for it even though he wasn't actually in the car with Calum when it happened. Apparently, they had been dating since they were about 16 or 17 – and Ashton's 20 now, so that is a very long and good time. Riker can understand why he's so upset and broken about it. But Riker's solution, like everyone else's, is to find the right person for him that will make him forget about what happened 2 months ago, get over it and go back to being the happy and cheery Ashton he was before all that.

At least that's what his Mom said he was like when Riker met her.

Riker doesn't think Ashton will be here for the whole 6 months, he reckons that Ashton will find someone to move on with or find someone who will help him forget about Calum and he'll be out of here and better in no time. Riker gives it about, 4 months at the most. 3 at the least.

But hey, time can only tell. Riker doesn't have a crystal ball he can look into and see what the future holds for each and every individual that sits in this room. He wishes he did. That way he could save himself from whatever heartbreak he would have to witness between these people in the next few months.

When the group had finished, Ross hung back a little bit whilst everyone else left. Once everyone was out the door he left slowly, walking behind them as they all walked down the hallway. They weren't walking or talking together. The only people who were talking were Ellington and Ashton but they weren't talking a whole lot, they were just asking how one another was getting home. Luke and Brad were being anti-social towards them.

Though Ross is basically being anti-social now by choosing not to walk with them.

But it's not his fault. Having an anxiety disorder makes you really uncomfortable and scared around people, no matter how big the group of people. It could be two people and he would be cowering like a dog in the corner. That anxiety makes him depressed too so that doesn't help. He doesn't even know when it started. One minute he was happy with his friends and boom. Here he is now. An anti-social freak who's only wish is to die basically. And if it wasn't for his sister Rydel being around, he probably would have been dead by now.

When Ross got outside he expected to see them all leaving the car parking lot of this place in some direction, but they weren't. They were stood outside like they were waiting on something. Ross looked around nervously for Rydel to see if she was anywhere in the car park to pick him up, but he couldn't see her. Ross sighed as he knew this meant he had to wait on his own.

He glanced over to where they were stood and went over to the bench that was a short distance away and sat on it. He lifted up his head and discretely watched as Ashton left and Ellington going over to his car and getting into it. Ellington threw Ross a smile as he done so which left Ross feeling uncomfortable, so he looked away so that Ellington couldn't see him. He waited till he heard Ellington's car drive off before he looked up, seeing Savannah leaving too.

Which meant Brad and Luke were still here somewhere, or they had gone and Ross hadn't noticed.

Ross looked up to see if Rydel had pulled up or was coming into the car park, but he almost jumped out of his skin when he saw Luke in front of him looking down at him. "Don't you go to my school?" Luke asked, slightly suspicious.

Ross knew that he, Luke and Brad went to the same school as each other (and he was definitely not expecting them to be here) because he's seen them around. But he hardly see's Luke around because he doesn't bother to show up half the time, which probably has something to do with his 'depression'. Ross shrugged and looked down again, pretending to play on his phone as he took it out of his pocket "I-I don't know..." Ross said nervously.

"We do. I know we do. You probably don't know because I'm never there," Luke said, still looking down at him. He knew fine well Ross was pretending to play on his phone to avoid a conversation with him. Luke coughed to try get his attention so he would look up "Or maybe it's because you're always hiding and cowering in the corner away from everyone when I'm there," Luke said harshly, starting to get annoyed that Ross wasn't engaging in any conversation what so ever "dude, I know you're pretending to play on your phone. Put it away."

Ross sighed and put his phone back into his pocket and looked back up at Luke, not saying a word to him. Luke smiled in satisfaction a little bit "That's better. Don't act scared with me. It's not like I'm going to tell people from school you're here. I barely talk to anybody at school, and even if I did tell people they'd connect the dots and figure out that I go here too and I'd get questioned and well... you get my point," Luke explained with a sigh "yeah. It wasn't my choice to come here. I was forced to by my brother and my best friend. My only friend, really. I'm taking it you were forced, too?" he asked.

Ross nodded. Luke rolled his eyes "You can talk you know. It won't hurt. I know I sound insensitive towards you when I shouldn't but..." Luke shrugged "so, who were you forced by?" he asked.

"My sister. She was supposed to be here to pick me up but, she's not..."

"Was she that worried about you that she sent you here?" Luke asked, Ross nodded "eh, same here. Except with Jack and Michael. They were deeply concerned—but whatever, I won't go into detail. It's not exactly something you wanna hear."

Ross went to go say something but stopped, Luke noticed and stood there waiting for him to say what he was going to say. "I... I heard you talking to Ashton, if that's his name..." Ross said, reluctantly, nervously and quietly "I heard you tried to kill yourself but got caught."

Luke lifted his hands like he was weighing something out "Getting caught, failed attempt... same thing." he dropped his arms down to his side.

"Is what you're going through that bad?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Well... I'm sorry. I won't ask you what's it's about just... I'm sorry for you having to go through whatever you're going through. Whatever you get my point." Ross said, putting his head into his hands. He fucked that up. At least he thinks he did.

Luke nodded "Yeah, everyone is who knows about it," he said, becoming sadder suddenly and swinging his arms a little bit "but it doesn't matter. I'll see you next week. Probably." he didn't say anything else to Ross, he gave him a small smile and quickly walked off.

Ross watched as Luke walked off, not being quite sure of what was exactly wrong with Luke and why he is depressed. He had a couple of ideas, but he thinks they're way off. Maybe. He looked back in front of him where he saw Rydel's car parked up and she had her window rolled down, looking at him. Ross sighed and walked over to the car, getting in at the passenger side.

Rydel turned her head from the window seconds after Ross had gotten into the car "Who was that?" Rydel asked, with a smile on her face and gently.

Ross shrugged, putting on his seat belt "Some guy from my school called Luke," Ross told her "he's never at school. I was surprised he was there. There's someone else from our school there too, Brad he's called. But yeah. I'll explain more when I get home." he said to her. Rydel is the only person he can actually talk to without being nervous or scared. She's the only person he can be himself around. He can barely be himself around his parents.

Rydel pulled away from the car park and started to drive home "So, are they new friends? I mean, I'm taking it you made new friends. Did you?" Rydel asked, starting to bomb bard him with questions. She didn't mean to. It was just she wanted her baby brother to be happy again and have friends that were nice to him and he could rely on. Unlike others that he's had in the past.

Again Ross shrugged "I don't know. They're mainly guys in there. There's two girls but one of them's not there because apparently she tried to kill herself. That would be Alexa. Savannah's the girl who was there today. Ashton... seems like... I don't know. He seems nice. But he's been through a lot as I over heard. Brad, I haven't really talked too.. Luke seems okay I suppose. Savannah does too. But there's another guy called Ellington and he makes me feel really uncomfortable."

"What do you mean? Do I have to turn this car around and go kick his ass?" Rydel asked, starting to feel slightly protective – which is something she had been doing a lot lately.

"Calm down Rydel, he isn't being mean. He's just... he's bi sexual... and... he kinda started flirting with me and... I didn't know what to do but sit there like a duck."

Rydel smiled "Awe. That's sweet. Is he attractive?"

"Rydel! I'm not gay! I'm not bi! I'm straight."

Rydel shrugged "Alright, I'm only asking. But don't think this is over. We will talk more about this when we get home."

"Trust me, I know."

Lonely wasn't even the word to describe his feelings every time he came back to the apartment.

For 2 months now ever since Ashton had been going out and coming home to what use to be his and Calum's apartment, he'd walk through the door and expect him to be sat watching TV, passed out on the couch or passed out in bed. Or just in the apartment doing something like he usually did. But no.

He would walk in and it would be complete silence. Nothing. The only noise you would be able to hear is the footsteps on the hallway of people walking about. Nothing more. Unless Ashton hadn't switched off the taps properly and they were dripping. But even when the taps were dripping Ashton would get his hopes up too much that he was imagining things and Calum wasn't really dead.

It sucked and hurt so much.

And if it wasn't for the fact his Mom and Lauren, his sister, came round almost every day to check on him and make sure he's okay and doing fine – Ashton would have really let himself go by now, the place would be a mess and he probably would have hung himself off the nearest tree. Or swallowed a bottle or 2 of pills, just so he could be with Calum again.

He'd be lying if he said he hasn't tried. He tried an overdose on pills but he ended up throwing them up which was basically someone's way, Calum, of saying _Nope_. That, and Lauren kinda caught him and with her being younger than he is she told his Mom and well... That's why he ended up in that support group.

One day though. One day that failed attempt might not be a failed attempt.

When he got into the apartment he went straight into the bedroom he use to share with Calum. Ashton collapsed onto the bed and sighed. He wasn't even lying correctly on the bed, he just fell into the middle of it and decided to lay across it. Because what's the point of doing anything right any more when nothing is going right?

Wow he's a mess.

Ashton sighed and looked over to the bedside table where there was a photo frame facing down so you couldn't see the picture. He lifted himself up on the bed a little and grabbed it, taking a look to see it was a picture of him and Calum from about a year ago. He smiled a little looking down at it, remembering how happy and perfect everything was back then. He stroked the glass on the photo frame of it for a little while, staring at it, before tears started to form in his eyes "I'm sorry," he whispered, beginning to hug the picture "I'm so sorry." he whispered again, this time with tears falling.

Luke decided to take the long way home _(a/n: lol accidental puns)_ after leaving the support group, as he didn't really want to go home. Sure, there was nothing bad awaiting him at home. After all, he lived with a very loving and caring brother along with his best friend Michael after Jack had decided it would be a good idea if Michael would live them as well just so it's more support for Luke as he's the only other person in the world who knows everything about him pretty much.

He just didn't want to go home because he didn't want to be suffocated with questions from them both about how he's been feeling today, if everything went okay etc, etc. Don't get him wrong he loves them both to pieces and he appreciates everything they've done for him, but lately he's been getting so stressed out.

And it's only been 3 months ever since what he was going through stopped happening for good. But it still haunts him and follows him everywhere he goes which isn't nice. The poor guy has nightmares about it every night. That's not normal for an 18 year-old.

Is it?

He stood outside the door of the house they lived in and stared at it for a moment. He had his sleeves pulled over his hands because it was cold, and it was a really bad habit he was making. Luke pushed the door open, deciding not to put off going inside any longer, and shut it when he got inside. He knew that Jack and Michael were both there stood behind him as he faced the door, but he didn't want to turn round and face them.

It was like as soon as he stepped inside this house he became an angry, irritated, emotional (mainly that) wreck. He breathed deeply. "Luke..?" Jack asked, calmly and gently "are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Luke said, obviously on the urge of breaking down emotionally or angrily. And also lying. He was not okay. He was far from okay and they knew that.

"How did today go? Was it okay? Did it help?" Michael asked, trying to be gentle too. But sometimes he could say the wrong thing and it would set Luke off. But hey, that's Michael Clifford for you ladies and gentlemen.

Luke came off the door and turned around, facing them "No. It did not help. It's not going to help no matter how many times you want to send me to the place." Luke said, his voice starting to shake with sadness a little. He didn't know if he was going to be angry or cry. Maybe he was going to do both.

"Hey, we only made you go for your own good. We don't want you trying to hang yourself again." Jack said.

Luke shrugged "Do it. Let me do it," he said, making his way towards the stairs as his voice completely broke "least that's one less person in the world you have to worry about."

Michael reached out for his arm to try get him back so that he could talk to him nicely in some way or give him comfort before he broke down for the 5th time this week (baring in mind it's only Wednesday) "Luke—"

Luke pushed Michael away from him as soon as he touched his arm "Don't fucking touch me." he snapped before running upstairs and slamming his bedroom door shut.

Once he slammed his bedroom door he slid down it and put his head between his knees, beginning to cry. Why him for? Why couldn't this have happened continuously to somebody else? Why him?

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed this :)<strong>

**I don't know how interested you guys are with Calum & Ashton, so... I don't know if you want any flashbacks of them or what. Do you? I mean, I don't mind doing them I have a couple of ideas. I just wanna know how interested you are to know more about Calum himself as well as Cashton. **

**Thanks for reading!**

**PLEASE review! :D**


	3. School

**PLEASE READ THE A/N AT THE END.**

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><p><strong>I know I should be updating the final chapter of My English Love Affair, but eh. I have half of it written but have no idea how to get to the end of it omfg. it's so stressful jesus christ. <strong>

**But yeah, today was eventful. I went out to a pub (bar) for tea (dinner) & they started playing Amnesia & I was like "ok, no surprise there Amnesia's a popular song" but THEN AFTERWARDS they started playing "English Love Affair" and i was NOT prepared oh my god. I think it was a hint or a sign telling me to update bc straight after they played "Loud" by R5. The Vamps never came on though. If they did I would have screamed haha.**

**I am currently in the middle of making a video for this story like I have done for Fix You, The New Yesterday & The Last Judgement so I'll let you know when it's up. But I might end up making two videos for this story bc the video I'm currently making shows it more from Luke & Ashton's point of view rather than Ross, Ellington & Brad's. So i might make another & show it more from their POV's, but it's really hard with Brad bc I don't have any good clips of him that would suit this story. I mean I'm fine for Cashton, Rosslington & Lashton clips. But whatever, you get my point lol.**

**Anyway, I'll shut up & let you get on reading.**

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own R5, The Vamps or 5 Seconds Of Summer, all rights go to Hollywood, MercuryVirgin EMI & Capitol Records!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3<br>**_School_**  
><strong>

"Luke..?"

Luke fluttered his eyes open and moved slightly when he heard Jack's voice and felt himself being shaken gently. He rubbed his eyes and saw it was a little bit dark outside, but the sun was coming up which meant it was early in the morning. "I know this is a stupid question and I get the same answer every morning, but are you going to school today?" Jack asked, knowing the answer was already going to be a no.

Luke sighed and looked out the window of his bedroom again. "N—yeah, I am."

Jack nodded, getting off the bed "Right, okay, just go back to sle—wait, what?" He asked, replaying what Luke had just said in his head. He actually wanted to go to school today? Well there's a first. "Are you okay, Luke?" Jack asked.

"Right now? Yes. In general? No. Emotionally? No." Luke said, sat up in his bed. He then threw the covers off him and got out of his bed to get showered and dressed. "Oh my god, it's cold. Screw that I'm going back to sleep." Luke said, going back to climb back into bed but was stopped by Jack.

Jack shook his head "Hell no, you want to go to school. And you're going before I end up with more phone calls asking why you won't go in. And the only way those phone calls are going to stop is if you go in or I tell them why and ma—"

"No," Luke snapped, turning his head round to Jack as he got some clothes out of his drawers "don't you fucking dare tell them why. I won't forgive you."

Jack put his hands up in defence "Alright, I won't. It's just if I do, I can make sure they keep it confidential and that they can help you I guess."

"Oh, yeah a school is going to be able to help me. I bet there's only like 3 students, including me, going through what I've only just finished going through!" Luke said, beginning to yell "but it still feels like I'm going through it you know and it's not fair! I didn't do anything to deserve it and neither did Ben, but it's too late for him isn't it because now he's six foot under!" Luke yelled before he started crying with his head in his hands "and it's all my fault."

Ben was Luke's other older brother, he was the middle child, but unfortunately he died a year ago. Luke doesn't really like thinking about it as he feels as though it's his fault he died because he could have done something. Like Luke could have taken his place. Luke could have been there at the time it happened instead of coming home and finding his dead body on the floor in his bedroom. No, Ben did not kill himself. He was killed by someone else. Someone else who Luke does not like to think about and he is glad that person is gone forever. But unfortunately they're not dead, which is fortunate because Luke doesn't want Ben to be near them ever again.

Luke wiped his eyes and shook his head to try and get himself to stop crying as Jack came over and wrapped his arms around him for a hug. Michael walked into the bedroom at the time. "It's okay. It's not your fault. I'm sure if it was the other way around Ben would feel the same way. You couldn't have done anything. If anything it's my fault, I shouldn't have gone away for so long and none of this would have happened. I could have came back, got you and Ben and left before anything bad happened. So if you want to blame someone, blame me okay?" Jack explained, trying to comfort him.

Michael rubbed his eyes "Am I dreaming or is Luke actually up for school?" He asked.

Luke looked over to the door where Michael was pretty much dressed for school, all he needed was his shoes on. "Y-yeah, I'm coming today," Luke said, pulling away from Jack and quickly wiping his eyes with his hands "can I get changed please without an audience?"

"Yeah, sure, sorry, c'mon Mike." Jack said, quickly going over to the door.

The halls in school were crowded. At least to Ross it felt like it. For some reason he felt worse than he ever had done today, and nothing bad had even happened. He was at his locker and every time a group of people walked by, who weren't even paying attention to him, he'd feel nervous and like they were watching him. How he ended up like this, he'll never know.

As he was taking something out of his locker, he heard something – or someone – crash into the side of the locker next to him. Ross shut his locker door so that he could see where he saw Brad leant against it like he was in pain. Ross turned around and saw two boys walking off, laughing, who had clearly threw him into the locker. "A-are you okay?" Ross asked, nervously and quietly.

Brad turned his head when he heard someone ask that, as he's not quite use to people asking him if he's okay after people throw him into things, trip him up, hit him etc.. They normally stand there, let it happen, watch, laugh or look on in sympathy and never do anything. He stood up straight from the locker and moved his shoulder around, as it hurt a little "Yeah... my shoulder hurts that's all."

Ross nodded, shutting his locker. "Aren't you the blonde one from the support group?" Brad asked, looking at him suspiciously "was it Ross..?" he asked, Ross nodded "Oh, good. Glad I found you."

"Why..?"

"Because," Brad said, going into his jacket pocket where he pulled out a piece of paper "I bumped into someone this morning. He told me to give you this." he handed him the piece of paper.

Ross took it from him reluctantly.

"Are you two sharing love notes?"

Ross and Brad turned their heads to the voice who said that, where they saw Luke standing in front of them. Honestly, they didn't know if they were relieved it was someone who they knew wouldn't spread something or that they were shocked Luke was actually in school for a change. "No, I was just giving him something from someone. I'm not gay unlike you." Brad said, shrugging his backpack onto his shoulder properly.

"I'm not gay you fucking faggot." Luke snapped, shoving Brad so that he crashed against the locker.

"Alright, it was a fucking joke, Jesus Christ!" Brad rubbed his back as yet again he was in pain.

All the while Luke and Brad had that little collision together, Ross had opened up the piece of paper and read who it was from and what they wanted and why the hell they would give it to Brad.

_Okay, I know, a weird way of getting in touch with you, but you know I don't have your number and I'm not willing to wait till next week to see you._

Ellington.

_All I'm saying is that, I think you're attractive, you ARE attractive and we should talk more and maybe hang out before support group. That's if you're up for it. I mean, I hope you are... otherwise a 20 year old's just been turned down by an 18 year old. You are 18, aren't you? Cos I don't want to be arrested for being a paedophile. I mean, I suppose if you're 17 you'll be turning 18 soon. Right? Oh god, please tell me you're 18._

_But yeah, call or text me when you can here's my number._

_- Ellington (from support group in case you've forgot)_

Ross laughed and smiled a little at some points in the note. He looked to the bottom where Ellington's number was. "Why are you smiling?" Brad asked "is what he wrote that good, cos I thought he was honestly a bit of a douche yesterday."

Ross looked up and shrugged, quickly stuffing the note into his pocket "Er, no he's just... yeah. I don't know. Trying to talk to me. I mean, you probably already read it out of curiosity." he said, quickly picking up his bag up off the floor.

"Actually I never, I respect people's privacy."

"So," Luke said, breaking the 5 second silence that fell over them all "what are you both doing at lunch? Because my friend Michael has to stay in for a teacher, so... I'll be on my own. I mean, is it okay if I stay with one of you? I know we only just met yesterday but... you're the only people I know really besides from Michael. Not that you know who Michael is. But if it helps, he's the guy who could have his own movie and it would be called '50 Shades of Hair Dye'."

"Oh, I know him." Brad said.

"Yeah, I've seen him around." Ross added quietly.

Luke cocked his head slightly "You're so quiet," Luke said, directing it at Ross "not that I have a problem with it. I can understand why you are. But whatever. Don't we have lessons together?" Luke asked, not being sure as he heard the bell go off.

Ross nodded, tempted to say something like _'yeah, we do when you're here' _but decided against it because he didn't want to get punched for it. "Great. At least I know someone. What do we have now?" he asked as they slowly began to walk down the hallway "Bye Brad." Luke waved to him as he was going in a different direction to them. Brad waved back and turned around to go to his lesson.

"Um, sociology **(1)**."

"Oh, last time I had that was a few weeks ago and we were doing something about racism. What are we doing now?" Luke asked as they were approaching the open classroom door.

Ross shrugged "Not sure. I think Miss said something about starting on domestic violence or child abuse. I don't know. I wasn't really paying attention."

Luke nodded, not giving an answer to it as they were walking into the classroom and they know that teacher likes to have silence when people come into the classroom. Though, Luke is really surprised that he remembered given that it has been a while since he was here. As soon as Luke walked into the classroom after Ross a few people stared at him like they were shocked to see him, including the teacher. "Oh, Luke Hemmings," The teacher said in surprise with a smile on her face "what a lovely surprise to see you. You actually decided to come to school today."

Luke rolled his eyes "Whatever." he mumbled, sitting at his desk which was next to Ross's fortunately for him.

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><p><strong>I know it's short, but I've had this written since yesterday bc I wanted to add something else at the end but i couldn't figure out how to write it so I'm gonna have to wait for the next chapter or a later chapter.<strong>

**PLEASE READ: I know you all said you want Cashton flashbacks, but I don't know what YOU want to see. So could you PLEASE put some suggestions for me other than "fluff". Thanks.**

**PLEASE REVIEW! :D**

**(1) - I'm not sure if in America students study Sociology or not... but hey, if you guys have another name for it let me know.**


	4. Ashton & Calum

**Sorry for leaving this story for so long! I've finally finished My English Love Affair & I'm trying to finish Five Nights At Freddy's bc it's a Halloween themed story & there's only 8 chapters & it's longer than that & today's Halloween, and I'm trying to get it out of the way so we're not at Christmas & the stories still going on bc that's the wrong type of story to be out then lol**

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><p><strong><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own R5, The Vamps or 5 Seconds Of Summer, all rights go to Hollywood, MercuryVirgin EMI & Capitol Records!****

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><p><strong>Chapter 4<br>**_Ashton & Calum_**  
><strong>

The next support group session came around pretty quickly, and was held after school hours so that Ross, Luke, Brad and Savannah could attend without it being just Ashton and Ellington in one room. Riker feels that if Ashton and Ellington only attended, he'd be sat listening to them having a sarcastic conversation with each other.

It's not that Ellington and Ashton don't like each other, it's just... they're not really in the mood for one another. Ashton and Ellington can be both pretty sassy and sarcastic, and some times Ellington does go a little bit too far sometimes so Riker can kinda see why Ashton doesn't put up with it.

Today, Riker decided he wasn't going to do the whole get everyone in a circle thing. He was just going to talk to them one by one to figure out what was really wrong with them and how he could help them. But unless you were Ashton, Ellington, Brad, Savannah and Alexa he was just going to see how he could help them out more.

Alexa was coming back today, he wasn't sure at what time though. Everyone else was here and he was in a room by himself with Ashton, talking to him about things. His problems, Calum, family, other things etc. Stuff like that. Riker thought it was best to talk to Ashton about happy things, rather than let him dwell on the sad things. "So, what did you do today?" Riker asked, he had a notepad in front of him so he could take notes down on everyone. Just so he had an outline of everyone and could remember.

Ashton shrugged, slouching in the chair he was in "Nothing much... my Mom came round with my sister and brother. They stayed for about an hour and left. That was this morning at about 11." he said.

"Did you do anything after your Mom and siblings left?" Riker asked, Ashton shook his head "don't you have any friends to hang around with?"

"Well, I did. I had a few, but only one close one. He was mine and Calum's friend, we've known him since we were eight years old after he moved from Ireland. He was always closer to Calum, but you could say he was pretty close to me. In a way, he kinda got us together. In fact, now that I think about it... he did. He was sneaky about it, I'll give him that." Ashton said, starting to think about that day when his friend got him and Calum together.

And now that he thinks about it, it was very sneaky and he can imagine him now sat at his house smirking over it because he knew it was going to happen.

"Where is he now? How come you don't see him any more?" Riker asked.

"After Calum died, we kinda drifted apart. I still see him around sometimes, and we talk... but only for a few minutes and then it's like we never spoke at all..." Ashton said, beginning to frown.

"What's he called?"

"Niall."

Riker nodded, quickly scribbling it down on the notepad. He looked back up again and stared at Ashton "You know, Ashton... you've never really told me much about Calum. All I know is that you were both in a relationship since you were 16, or 15, and he died a couple months ago... Would you care to tell me more about him without getting upset?" Riker asked, gently.

"I-I don't know what to tell you... Other than he was nice. Really nice."

Riker thought about it for a moment "Well... how did you get together? I know you said that Niall got you both together, but how?" he asked, seeing a small smile begin pop up on Ashton's face as he thought about it. Riker smiled a little too "Was it funny how he got you together?" Riker asked.

Ashton nodded "Now that I think about it yeah... I know you'll laugh too." Ashton let out a small laugh after.

"Go on, tell me."

"Well, it was Niall's 16th birthday..."

_Normally when you're 16, and you're having a party, it doesn't involve alcohol._

_But then again, Niall wasn't exactly your average 16 year old so you could expect the unexpected at his parties and when he was around. Of course the party was thrown at his house, and half the people that were here were already sat on their ass from too much alcohol._

_Lightweights. That's what Niall calls them._

_Or maybe it's just cos he's from Ireland and that is the drinking capital for beer. Well, Guinness. Same thing, really._

_Niall made his way through the crowd of people who were in his way and draped both his arms around Ashton and Calum when he finally got to them "Hey, guys," Niall said, looking between them both "so, Cal pal," he patted him on the chest after taking his other arm from round Ashton "have you told him yet?" Niall asked._

"_Fuck off Niall." Calum said, less than amused and taking another drink of the bottle of cider he had in his hand that Niall had given him earlier._

_Ashton glanced at them both, confused "Told me what?" Ashton asked._

_Niall looked at Ashton "That he's gay and takes it up the ass. Specifically, he wants to take it up yours."_

"_That doesn't even make sense, you fucking Irish retard." Calum said, glaring at him. Ashton smirked. "Whatever, I'm going to go get another drink." He said, throwing the bottle at Niall who thankfully caught it without it smashing off his face._

_That would have been a lovely birthday present off Calum. But not surprising._

"Yeah, I know," Ashton said, seeing the look he was receiving off Riker "but... we were 15, nearly 16. I thought he was kidding. Wouldn't have you?" Ashton asked.

Riker nodded "Alright, fair point continue."

_Ashton walked through the crowds of people who were in his way, searching for Niall or Calum. He'd lost them about an hour ago after getting caught up in talking to some girl in their grade who started talking to him. Not in a flirty way. They use to know each other when they were in Elementary school but then they stopped talking for some reason. Ashton can't see why, she seems like a nice enough girl to keep in touch with._

_He went upstairs to see if they had both went up there to get away from the loud voices and the music that thudded around the house, but when he got up there all he saw was closed doors, cups on the floor and that was about it. He still checked the bedrooms and bathroom to see if they were in there, but no. Nobody was there. He turned around and headed back for the stairs._

_As Ashton started going down the stairs, Niall started coming up. "I've been looking all over for you, where have you been?" Niall asked._

"_I've been looking for **you **all over. Where have **you** been?" Ashton asked, raising his eyebrows._

"_Looking after Calum," Niall said, making Ashton confused "yeah... I thought it was a good idea for us and a few other people to play this drinking game and he kept losing so... currently... he's sat on the sofa ready to go home if you know what I mean."_

_Ashton groaned "Niall! His Mom's gonna kill me if I take him home drunk! He's 15. I think she could understand if he was 17 or 18. Not 15 almost 16."_

"_Well, you better get him home somehow because there's no room in my house for him to stay over. Otherwise I would let him."_

_Ashton rolled his eyes "This isn't funny!" He said, seeing the gigantic smirk slowly forming on Niall's face "where is he? I'll take him now." He jumped down the last few remaining steps and went to go find Calum, whilst Niall sat on the stairs watching with the biggest grin on his face._

_Oh this was so going to work out perfectly._

_When Ashton see's Niall again tomorrow, even though it's technically classed as tomorrow given it's half past midnight, he is going to grab him by the throat and choke him until he can no longer breathe. That drinking game Niall suggested for himself, Calum and another few friends to play was not the brightest idea he had – especially since it was a game Calum kept losing at and now Ashton's having to carry him home as best as he can._

_Ashton got to the front door of Calum's house, he checked for lights and saw that nobody appeared to be awake which was a good thing. He asked Calum quietly if he had his keys on him, but of course Calum just told him that they were in his pocket and didn't bother to get them out, meaning Ashton had to get them out somehow without accidentally touching anything he didn't want to._

"_That's not my keys, Ashton!" Calum said, his words slurred._

"_Sorry!" Ashton said, quickly grabbed them. He held onto Calum and unlocked the front door where he dragged Calum in behind him._

_Ashton had to let Calum stand on his own for a few seconds whilst he locked the front door, because it looked like Ashton wasn't going to be able to leave Calum stay at home till morning to give his Mom a good explanation of why he can barely stand._

_He finished locking the door, but as he went to turn around he heard a loud thud that shook the house and probably woke up his Mom and sister. _

"_Calum? Is that you?" His Mom asked, coming out of her bedroom._

"_Calum, say yes!" Ashton whispered, seeing him on the floor now sitting back up._

"_Yeah." Calum called up the stairs like Ashton told him too._

"_Oh, okay." She said, going back into her room._

_Ashton sighed in relief, grabbing Calum by his hands and pulling him back up. They started making their way towards the stairs, holding onto one another. Mainly Ashton holding onto Calum so he didn't tumble down the stairs and break his neck. "Cal**uM**!" Ashton said with panic as he fell backwards a little and Ashton had to tighten his grip around him, and hope for the best he didn't fall backwards as he was behind Calum. And if Calum fell, Ashton would unfortunately be his crash mat._

_Ashton kicked Calum's bedroom door open and shut it quietly, so that he didn't attract the attention of his Mom again. Even though the first time it was Calum's fault rather than Ashton's. _

_They walked over to the bed and Ashton gently let Calum go so that he fell onto his bed, but Calum kept hold of him which caused Ashton to go down with him. Ashton sighed, now lying next to him where Calum had fallen on the bed "Well, that wasn't supposed to happen..." Ashton said, quietly and staring up at the ceiling. After a few seconds he sat back up "Anyway, I'm gonna find a quilt and I'm gonna sleep on the floor." He said about to get up._

"_No, Ash." Calum grabbed hold of Ashton's arm so that he stayed on the bed._

"_What?" Ashton asked, looking at him and finding his drunkenness a little bit funny. It was like suddenly he was turning into this needy 5 year old._

"_I... er... um... I..."_

"_You what?" Ashton asked, letting out a soft laugh at how he couldn't string a sentence together. This is the first time Ashton's ever saw Calum fully drunk, and he wouldn't mind seeing it again because it's hilarious._

_Calum shook his head, pushing Ashton away from him "Doesn't matter. You're too stupid to even realise it." he said, turning over and having his back to Ashton._

_Ashton let the smile wipe off his face, and he frowned "What's wrong? Don't get emotional with me dude. I thought only girls got emotional when they drank," Ashton said, only to get flipped off by Calum. "Alright, seriously. What's wrong? Why have you suddenly gone from happy to sad?" he asked "is something bothering you?"_

"_You've already been told."_

"_Have I..?" _

"_Yes."_

"_When?"_

"_Today."_

"_Did I?"_

"_Yes!" Calum said, turning over._

_Ashton hushed him "Alright, quiet down, you're parents will hear and then they'll yell at me for letting you get so drunk."_

"_Oh, boo, hoo." _

"_Thanks," Ashton said sarcastically at the fact Calum didn't care if Ashton got yelled at by Calum's parents for letting him get drunk to the point where he couldn't stand or string a sentence together. Ashton sighed "Seriously, will you just tell me or drop me some sort of hi—"_

_That was when Calum had enough of Ashton being an oblivious ass hole and he grabbed Ashton's face with his hands and pressed his lips against Ashton's. He wouldn't have done this if he was sober, it was the alcohol that was giving him the confidence to do it. Maybe he should drink more often so that he had this type of confidence._

_And that was when it clicked in Ashton's head, apart from the obvious fact Calum is gay and likes Ashton._

_Niall set this up completely._

_He knew this would happen if he got Calum drunk._

Riker laughed "Oh, wow. So he got Calum drunk on purpose?" Riker asked, Ashton nodded "well, this Niall guy seems like a right unique character."

Again, Ashton nodded with a smile "He is." the smile then dropped from his face, where he returned to being sad again. Reminding himself that Calum's gone, and now Niall's gone. Except, Niall can come back to Ashton any time he likes, but Calum can't.

Riker now frowned "Ash, I think you need to spend some time with somebody else. You know? Someone who's gone through something similar to you and that understands," Riker said, making Ashton look up at him "I'm not asking you to forget about Calum, I know it's what you're probably thinking, but I'm not. It's just so you can get your mind off what happened and maybe stop blaming yourself for his death."

"But it is my fault."

"No it's not. See, this is what I'm talking about!" Riker took a deep breath "Look, I've already spoken to Luke, but I think you need to spend some time with him. His brother died a year ago, I don't know how he won't tell me, but he blames himself too. He thinks he could have prevented his death the same as you think you could have prevented Calum's. And I admit, Calum's could have been avoided. But I don't know about Luke's brother's death though. Maybe if you spend some time with him, you'll build a friendship and maybe he'll open up to you or something. Give it ago."

Ashton sighed "Really?"

Riker nodded "Yes! Now go on. Go get Luke, and get out of here. I'll you both go early," Riker said. Ashton didn't move he stayed still, staring at Riker. "If it helps and cheers you up, I'm gonna have to make Ross and Ellington spend some time together and that's going to go worse than yours and Luke's time together could go."

"Oh, God," Ashton said, standing up "alright, I'll give it ago with Luke and see what happens."

Riker smiled "Good. See you later," Riker said, watching as Ashton headed towards the door "oh, and Ashton, if it also helps you out with Luke."

Ashton turned around "Yeah?"

"If anything, yours and Luke's time together won't end as soon and as bad as Ross and Ellington's will."

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><p><strong>YAY I finally got a Cashton flashback done. WOO. Not gonna lie, thought I wasn't for a moment lol. <strong>

**Thanks for reading!**

****& WHILST I'VE STILL HOPEFULLY GOT ALL OF YOUR ATTENTION: Can you guys go check out my story "Five Nights At Freddy's" bc not many people read it, and I really like writing that story, and it makes me feel a little bit shitty at how barely anybody reads it & it makes me feel like it's not a very good story & that I'm not doing a very good job. & the people who said they'd check it out haven't. So... could you guys hopefully check it out for me after you've read this & tell me what you think? It'd mean a lot. (if it helps its a Brad/Ross/Rocky/Ashton/Luke only story bc I know how much everyone loves them four together after The Last Judgement)****

_****PLEASE REVIEW! ;D****_


	5. Horribly Depressed

**Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait on the update, I've been trying this update schedule thing that's been created for me by my friend Olivia. And so far, this week it's worked bc today is the day this story is supposed to be updated WOO!**

**HopefullY I haven't lost A LOT of readers.**

**Also, I know a lot of you noticed Niall in the previous chapter (as in One Direction Niall) and that's bc I'm shit at made up characters & 5SOS & 1D are friends anyway, and Niall is the closest to the band so I thought... Why not? He's not exactly a main character to the story. Just vital to Ashton & Calum as well as Ashton's flashbacks. Yay.**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Guest Account Replies:<strong>

**Charlotte: **Listen, don't review on my other stories telling me to update a certain story that isn't the actual story you're asking me to update. It's not gonna work.

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><p><strong>Chapter 5<br>**_Horribly Depressed_**  
><strong>

Ellington exited the room he had just been in with Riker, who had recently told him that he had to go spend some time with Ross because their problems are similar. In a way. What's so similar about Ross and Ellington's problems? Ross has got a family that loves him and doesn't ignore him just because they're all of a sudden fighting. He's seen his sister, Rydel, and she seems like she cares enough for him.

He has nobody. No siblings or anything that he can turn to. At home he feels lonely, so he either locks himself in his room or he goes out until late hours of the night when his parents aren't so bothered about where he's been. Not that they're bothered about him anyway. Sometimes he'll miraculously find a friend that wants to spend some time with him and he'll spend the night at their house.

He looked around the room, seeing the usual people. Brad, Savannah, Ashton, Luke, Ross and minus Alexa who should have already been here by now. Ellington shrugged, it was none of his business.

Ellington strode over to Ross, who was sat next to Luke, and stood in front of him. Both of the boys looked up to him. "Riker's letting me and you go early," Ellington said, making Ross confused "he says we need to spend some time with each other. Whether if it's here or out side of here. Honestly, I'd prefer out of here because I don't want to be trapped in this room all the time."

Ross looked unsure as to what to say to that. He didn't know what to say either without him getting offended. Riker had spoken to Ross before he had spoken to Ellington, and Riker did say that he wanted he and Ellington to spend at least some time together but he wasn't sure about it. Luke glanced between Ross and Ellington, letting his gaze stay focused on Ellington "What if he doesn't want to go?" Luke asked, trying to stand up for him.

"Then he's going to be pretty lonely here," Ashton said, cutting in as he came over "because Riker said the same thing to me, but with you."

Luke nodded "Yeah, I know. I was just... kinda waiting for you to come over and tell me cos, I didn't want to say anything in case you were uncomfortable with it."

"Why would I be uncomfortable with it?"

Luke shrugged "I don't know... spending time with another guy after your boyfriends died. It might seem a little dodgy to you."

"Luke, do you wanna be depressed all your life?"

Luke shrugged, again "Dunno. Depends how long I live."

Ashton rolled his eyes and grabbed him by the arm, pulling him up harshly "Oh, c'mon. The sooner we do this the sooner we can get it over with."

Luke shoved Ashton away from him harshly after he grabbed his arm, making Ashton take a few steps back and hold up his hands at the unexpected out burst from Luke. Even Ross and Ellington gave him a funny look, along with Brad and Savannah who weren't even paying attention until they heard Ashton nearly fall to the floor. "S-sorry..." Luke said, he sighed and wiped his face with one hand briefly "It's just an instant reaction every time someone—never mind. It's a long story."

"It's alright," Ashton said, sort of understanding "now, would you like to go?" he asked, gently. Luke nodded.

Luke faced Ross "I'll see you later." he said, and Ross responded with a nod before leaving with Ashton.

Ellington nodded towards the door "C'mon. We don't have to go do something, I can just walk you home if you like and we can talk then. Or, I can talk and you can just respond with either a nod or a shake," He said, making Ross let out a soft laugh. Ellington smiled "There we go. Progress. Now, do I have to do what Ashton just did to Luke and get nearly pounded to the floor or are you willing to go without force?" He asked.

Ross got up from the seat he was sat in which gave Ellington his answer. They turned around to leave together when they were given a sudden scare as the doors to the room boomed open and in came a blonde girl with medium length hair. Ross turned his head to Ellington confused. "That would be Alexa." Ellington answered quietly.

The boys began to leave the room, having to pass Alexa on the way. "Riker wants to see you." Ellington said.

"I'm aware." She said, snapping slightly as she walked by.

"Attitude. Turn it down a notch."

Alexa rolled her eyes before disappearing into Riker's room, letting that door boom open and slam shut too. Ellington sighed "Yeah, she's got an attitude problem. Acts like she doesn't care when she does." He said as they walked down the hallway to the exit of the building.

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><p>The first five minutes of their walk was pretty tense and awkward as Ellington didn't have a clue what to say. Normally he does when he's been with someone he doesn't know that's quiet. All he could do was go to say something but decide against it, which made him begin to think that Ross was starting to think he's some weirdo. "So," Ellington said, swinging his arms so that his hands clapped together "you go to school with Brad and Luke, huh?" He asked, Ross nodded.<p>

This wasn't going to be easy because all he was going to get was nod and shake head answers. "Why don't you talk to me?" Ellington asked, making Ross look at him "I see you talk to Luke. He's no different to me, in a way."

Ross shrugged "I don't know... You—never mind." he shook his head quickly, deciding not to say that in case he got a punch in the face.

"No, no, go on. I'm intrigued. I won't do anything."

Ross shook his head "No. It doesn't matter."

Ellington sighed heavily "Ugh, c'mon, I'm never gonna get you to talk to me like how you talk to your sister and Luke if you don't tell me what I do that makes you not want to talk to me."

"You make me nervous."

"Nervous? How do I make you nervous?" He questioned.

"Don't take it to heart, everyone who I don't know makes me nervous. That old lady waiting for the bus over there makes me nervous." Ross said, pointing to the old, fragile, obviously helpless, old lady sat in the bus shelter they were about to walk passed.

Ellington glanced at the old lady as they walked by, being confused as to why an old lady like her can make an eight-teen year old boy nearly crap his pants. Unless he was being metaphorical by it. He nodded, getting it as they were getting further from the bus stop "Oh, I get it. Anxiety. Don't worry, I get it from time to time when I'm with loud mouth people who just don't give a shit. But when I'm with the likes of you, who's really quiet, — and might I add attractive – all of it goes away because I know you won't care about what I say and what I do, just as long as it's not aimed at you," He said, taking a small pause. He let out a soft laugh "haha. That last part rhymed a little."

Ross cracked a small smile, finding it slightly funny. "So er, if you don't mind me asking... Why are you at Riker's support group?" He asked, Ellington turned his head at him which made him nervous again "n-not that it matters. You don't have to tell me if you don't want me to."

Ellington let out a laugh at how he was acting, it was cute and adorable "Alright, relax. I'm not angry. You asked a question, and I'll respond. Jeez, you don't have to get anxious about everything you say to me or ask me. But to answer your question, my parents are ass holes and basically blame me for the reason they're fighting and show that by ignoring me on a regular basis, and it makes me depressed. And, I'm taking it your anxiety makes you depressed, right?" He asked, Ross nodded "there we go. We found one thing in common. We're both horribly depressed."

"I guess so..." Ross said, thinking about it slightly "but... aren't you 20? Can't you move out so you don't have to be around the people who make you depressed?" He asked.

"I wish I could, but I don't have enough money to survive by myself. I have no other family that I prefer who live in this area, otherwise I would leave in a heartbeat. So for now, I lock myself in my room which I treat as if it was my own apartment. And it's not just my parents that make me depressed, it's other people too. You know? The ones who act like nothing can touch them and they think they're all this and all that, and basically treat you like you're something they wiped off the bottom of their shoe?" Ellington explained.

Ross nodded, understanding and feeling very relieved that someone finally understood the way he felt. Emotionally and about society. "Do you play video games?" Ellington asked, seen as though it seemed like they were finally getting somewhere. Ross nodded. "Great! What type of games do you play? Or does it range from different genres?"

"It ranges. Sometimes horror, nice games, violence, Mario Kart. Lets face it, Mario Kart is like it has it's own genre sometimes."

Ellington nodded "True, true. Wait, you have anxiety and you play horror games?" Ellington asked, slightly confused by this and Ross nodded "how?! Don't you get scared at night when you're trying to sleep?"

Ross shrugged "Sometimes. It depends on how bad I get scared. But the games are fun, so I'm not complaining."

"What horror games do you play?" Ellington asked, deciding that he can judge on how scary they are and find out why he isn't so scared after playing them.

"Outlast, Five Nights At Freddy's, stuff like that."

Ellington's eyes widened slightly "Great. Crazy people running lose around a mental asylum they've taken over and robotic animatronics that want to stuff you up their own ass," He said, sarcastically "I can't talk though, I've played them too. Don't play them at 3 in the morning though... that was a grave mistake I made," he looked to the side thoughtfully as he said that, Ross laughed softly "but, I can guess what other games you play. I suppose they aren't that bad."

"Thanks."

"I might have to vs you one day."

Ross nodded "Alright. Fair enough."

After Luke and Ashton left, they hopped into Ashton's car and set off for town. They weren't like Ross and Ellington, if they were going to get to know each other properly, they were going to spend some time together like friends would normally do.

When they got to town, Ashton parked his car outside this coffee shop they decided to go in because it was quiet and nobody would pay attention to them. They found a table in the corner of the room and sat there for at least ten minutes before any serious questions were asked. It was like they were friends already. "Have you ever been here before?" Luke asked.

Ashton shook his head, taking a quick glance round "No. I don't think so. I've always walked passed it, but never paid much attention."

Luke thought about what he was going to say for a moment, before deciding to say it even though he knew it was a risk of upsetting Ashton "You know... I was kinda surprised you drove here, or drive at all, after what happened to your boyfriend. He did die in a car accident right? I didn't get that wrong. Please don't get offended! I meant it as a genuine question!" he said, getting scared as Ashton slowly looked up at him from looking down.

Ashton shrugged "I wouldn't get around much if I didn't drive. Besides, the only places I drive to is the support group and my Mom's when she forces me to go there. They aren't exactly long distances. Then again, where Calum was driving wasn't exactly a long distance either... But yeah, sure, I get scared some times every time I see a speeding lorry, truck, van or car coming near me. Sure, I'd like to die sometimes but I wouldn't like to die the way he did. It seemed and sounded painful," he shuddered a little and decided he wanted to get off this subject "can we talk about something else now?"

Luke nodded "Er, yeah, sure. Erm... you said you have a Mom?" He asked, slightly interested – if that didn't sound weird "do you have a Dad too? With siblings? Like a proper family?"

"I have a Mom and a little brother and sister. My Dad left when I was younger. But I'm happy just having my siblings and Mom, I feel it's better that way."

"Is your Mom nice?"

Ashton nodded, seeing a small smile form on Luke's lips "What's with the family questions?" Ashton asked, laughing slightly "not that I'm bothered. What about you, though? What's your family like? Who do you live with?" he asked, sipping on the drink he had.

Luke looked down and frowned "My parents are dead."

Ashton nearly choked on his drink, feeling bad for asking that question as he understood why Luke was asking it and getting unusually happy when Ashton talked about his Mom. Because he likes that other people have proper families. "Oh, er, I'm sorry," Ashton said, not really knowing what to say "um... so, who do you live with? By yourself? Guardian?"

"I live with my oldest brother Jack and my best friend Michael," Luke answered "I had another brother called Ben, but he died a year ago. Jack's all I have left in my family."

Ashton frowned "I'm sorry... How did they die?" Ashton asked "I know it's kind of an insensitive question to ask, but... you know how Calum died, and you have more than one person that's died. So, I don't know if they all died at the same time. And oh my god, I feel like a right dick now." he said, seeing the look on Luke's face.

Luke laughed softly "Don't worry about it. My Dad died in the army when I was a baby, so I don't really remember him. My Mom died about 2 years ago because a drunken driver ran her over."

"Oh... I'm so sorry. What about your brother? How did he die?"

"He died a year ago," Luke said, becoming nervous and feeling the palms of his hands begin to sweat "um... he died because... he... um... see... the thing is. I came home one day and... I... er... um..." he tried to bring himself to say the words but he couldn't. He thinks about it every day and screams it at Jack every time he blames himself for Ben's death. Why can't he tell Ashton for?

Oh, yeah, because then he'll join the dots up as to why Luke is the way he is.

Ashton put his hand on top of Luke's and rubbed it gently for comfort "It's alright. You don't have to tell me." he said with a small comforting, reassuring smile. Luke smiled back, taking his hand away from underneath Ashton's slowly.

Luke breathed deeply and removed any thoughts that tried to enter his mind. He went to go look at Ashton, but saw something dangling around Ashton's neck. It was a necklace chain with a ring hanging on it. "What's, er, what's the um... ring?" He asked.

Ashton looked down, seeing the ring on the necklace Luke was talking about. He grabbed hold of it gently and stroked it with his fingers, with a small frown. Luke's eyes widened when he realised "Oh my, God. No way. That must have been horrible for you!"

Ashton let go of the necklace "Well, it sure did make things a whole lot worse. Given the fact he didn't have time to give it to me so somebody else had to give it to me and they told me it was what he was going to do before he died." he said, staring out into space as a sudden wave of depression hit him.

Luke had his hands over his mouth, not being quite sure what to say or feel about this any more. "I need the bathroom." Ashton said, getting up.

"Ashton..." Luke said, feeling bad for him now.

Ashton went to turn around "No, no, it's—" as he went to turn around, he ended up colliding into someone "oh my, God, I'm so so—... Niall..." he said, slightly shocked to see him here.

"Oh my, God, Ashton..." Niall said, also surprised and shocked to see him "what are you doing here?" he asked. He looked behind Ashton, seeing a boy with dark blonde hair sat at the table Ashton was sat at. Niall smiled looking back at Ashton "Finally moved on, I see."

Ashton stared at him confused. He looked at Luke and back to Niall "What? No! He's just a friend. I haven't seen anybody since. Do you honestly think I would?" he asked "it would take a miracle."

"True," Niall agreed "well, it was nice seeing you again. You too, whoever you are."

"Luke." Luke said.

"Luke... Bye now." Niall said before turning around and leaving.

Ashton shut his eyes and sighed, sitting back down on his seat. Luke leaned forwards on the table "Who was that?" Luke asked, whispering.

"Mine and Calum's old best friend Niall," Ashton said, staring at the spot on the floor in front of him "we haven't been the same since Calum died. And... it hurts. We've been best friends since we were eight, me and Niall, and now he can't even look at me in the eye any more."

Luke frowned "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading! Hopefully it answered some questions but still leaves you all wondering!<strong>

**Also, please let me know what you would like to see happen next otherwise this story is going to be cut shorter than planned. **

_**PLEASE ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS IN YOUR REVIEWS:**_

**Thoughts on Luke's outburst at Ashton at the start?**

**Thoughts on Ross agreeing to get to know Ellington?**

**Thoughts on what you saw of Alexa's character?**

**Thoughts on Ross & Ellington's time together?**

**Thoughts on Ashton & Luke's time together?**

**Thoughts on what you think is wrong with Luke & what you think causes him to be the way he is?**

_**PLEASE REVIEW! :D**_


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